Sleep is the foundation of your mental well-being.
Like anything else in life, if your foundation isn’t strong and sustainable, neither is anything you attempt to build on top. This is why getting good sleep is CRUCIAL when it comes to personal growth and long-term happiness.
We have all experienced how a couple consecutive nights of little sleep affect our mood and clarity. The best way of describing this sensation may be walking around in complete “brain fog”. We are literally sleep walking.
The internet is a great source of inspiration, but at times, the information you find is shallow or a little too-good-to-be-true. This is a tendency we have noticed with online tips for sleeping. There are hundreds of articles explaining how to fall asleep in 1 minute or even in 10 seconds… This is unrealistic for most people, and techniques like the “military method” and the “4-7-8 breathing cycle” probably won’t do you much good.
Quit your search for quick fixes and shift your attention towards changing your relationship to sleep. Sleeping shouldn’t be viewed as a daily duty that HAS to be performed in order to function coherently. Sleeping is not a task that you cross off your to-do list.
No, is a sacred time you get to spend with yourself. A time you give to heal, to grow and to dream. Sleep is a “THANK YOU” to everything your mind and body accomplishes so swiftly and compliantly during your hours awake.
So, if you are tired of being tired and counting sheep doesn’t get the job done, here are 12 alternative techniques on how to become a sustainable sleeper.
1. Sleeping remedies are a red flag
In today’s high-paced society, efficient living is a top priority. From the moment we roll out of bed to the moment we close our eyes to go to sleep, we race in a battle with time to accomplish as much as possible.
Why?
Because we live in a society where this is the ONLY way to become successful and happy. It’s what we’re taught and rewarded for. As if the stress we put ourselves through is the price we pay for success. The fast-paced lifestyle takes its toll on both mind and body, and that’s when we start to feel restless. Suddenly, we don’t sleep well.
At this point, people often make the honest mistake of searching for short-term sleeping remedies. Remedies that help you sleep NOW with no regard for how you sleep TOMORROW. Short-term sleeping remedies include remedies like melatonin, marijuana, alcohol, and drugs like Benadryl and Aleve etc.
When you become dependent on sleeping remedies, your mind and body immediately adjust and become reliant on their influence. When we don’t get them, we don’t sleep well. And like a downward spiral, we assume that we need more, because it’s the only solution we know. The only solution we’re presented to.
Short-term sleeping solutions are products of the fast-paced lifestyle in a society that values efficiency more than depth. This is why when you type in “How to sleep…“, in Google’s search bar, the first option that pops up is “How to sleep FASTER“. This is seeing sleep as a necessity rather than a gift. As a task rather than a blessing. As a burden rather than quality time. A tendency we should work toward changing.
The bottom line is: Working on yourself now will pay off tomorrow.
2. Meditate, don’t medicate
Meditation is the simplest mindfulness tool that exists. It benefits every aspect of life from your productivity at work to your relationships with loved ones. From your physical endurance to your ability to fall asleep.
If you haven’t tried meditating before, THIS is your chance to try something new that in fact can only help you. There are no downsides of meditation, so what’s the harm in trying?
A common misconception about meditation, is that it’s a complicated mental practice that requires great focus. This notion is almost funny because it’s the exact opposite. Meditation is the one mental training technique where you don’t have to do ANYTHING .
If you like guided meditations, we recommend this one before sleep:
3. Turn down the lights and bring out the snacks
Melatonin is more than a sleeping remedy – it’s also a natural hormone that your body produces in response to darkness. This is exactly why you should lower the lighting in your home at night. When it’s dark outside, too much light can block your body’s melatonin production and lead to bad sleep. So turn down the lights and bring out the live candles.
You can also let your body know that it’s time to sleep, by eating foods containing high levels of tryptophan and melatonin.
Here’s Guides for Growth’s list of healthy snacks you can eat at night that transform into tryptophan and melatonin:
– Dates
– Almonds, peanuts and cashews
– Dark chocolate
– Yoghurt
– Sunflower or pumpkin seeds
– Chickpeas or hummus
– Goji-berries, tart cherries and pineapple
– Oatmeal and milk
– Chamomile tea (without caffeine!)
Even though eating before bed may send you right to sleep, be cautious of overeating. Indigestion and sleep is not a pretty combination. Stick to light, healthy snacks before bed.
4. Throw your phone in the toilet
Please don’t actually do that… Your phone is probably like your right hand man (unless you are a lefty). Always by your side to notify you of important/not-so-important updates, and keep you productive or entertained throughout the day. But BEWARE …
A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that phone time is relaxation time. It may hold true that your body is relaxed, but your brain, that probably needs a break the most, stays VERY active. Over-active. Our brains aren’t built to handle constant stimulation which is why your relaxation time may be an additional stressor. This pushes you one step further away from getting a good night’s sleep.
Remember how too much light can block the brain’s melatonin production? The same thing goes for the artificial, blue light that your screens emit. Using your phone excessively may be the reason you are having trouble sleeping.
Once you leave your phone behind at least one hour before bed, most people react in ONE OF TWO WAYS :
1) You feel a sense of freedom and presence. You are happy that you’re detached from your phone with no worry about what you may be missing.
2) You feel uncomfortable. Jittery. Anxious. Restless. These are literal abstinences. If this is you, it’s a clear sign that you need to be more separated from your phone. Be brave, embrace YOUR quality time and put your phone away before bed. Do so until the uncomfortable feeling disappears (which it will, don’t worry).
Give your brain the freedom to settle down at least an hour before bed. This will bring calmness and help you sleep faster and better. In short, make sure that you are using your phone and your phone isn’t using you.
5. Journal yourself to sleep
The great thing about journaling is freedom. You get to place your attention exactly where you want without anybody’s judgment. It’s a time where you can be brutally honest. If your boss is being an ass-hat, this is your place to let out your frustration. Nobody is going to judge you, because nobody is going to read it.
Your journal is where you get to express WHATEVER is on your mind. Whether it’s negative or positive doesn’t matter, BUT try not to be overly negative. Blowing off steam is one thing but pointlessly complaining is another. Also, don’t worry about handwriting or grammar.
Journaling before sleep is grounding. It brings presence and perspective. But most importantly, writing down your thoughts and feeling make you feel a little lighter – a little relieved. Leave your worries in the journal and allow only good vibrations to bed.
If you want to know more about journaling, there’s plenty of tips and ideas out there. This podcast can help you find inspiration.
6. Cleanse your senses
The best way to cleanse your senses is with mindful walking. It is a very meditative experience. Almost therapeutic. This type of walking doesn’t have a destination, and it’s NOT about getting fast from A to B.
When you make the decision of walking without a destination, your senses won’t be centered around an end goal. They will broaden, and you will start to notice things you’ve never noticed before. Let your sight, hearing, smell, and touch do what they do best: FEEL .
You must accept the environment you’re in. If you’re living in a large city, you must accept the loud distractions that you normally find disturbing. From the honking taxis to the drunk guy singing Christmas carols in April. It’s just YOU AND THE WORLD . Like hitting a restart button, mindful walking helps you release stress and prepares you for a good night’s sleep.
Mindful walking is very easy. Simply walk slower than your normal pace, look forward (not down) and take slow, deep breaths. That’s it. And lastly, don’t allow the worries of yesterday and tomorrow to interfere with right now. Consider this walk a vacation from all thoughts that don’t give life to your highest self.
7. Give sleep-hypnosis a shot
The idea of hypnosis sounds kind of scary, right? We’ve all seen videos of people under hypnosis suddenly falling asleep on stage or speaking some made-up language (yes, that video really exists).
Anyway, self-hypnosis is completely different. It isn’t harmful in any way, but for beginners, it may be a little challenging. It takes focus and patience to put yourself in a trance-like state where you separate from your physical body (again, not as dangerous as it sounds). Think of it more as deep meditation.
Let’s take a look at how to do it:
1) Minimize distraction around you. Turn off your phone, dim the lights and kindly ask your spouse to save violin practice for tomorrow. You get the picture.
2) Relax and get comfortable in bed. Yawn, stretch and let your thoughts drift. Acknowledge disturbing thoughts that pop up but then see them vanishing. Fading. Once you feel calm, proceed to the next step.
3) Close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths for a few minutes.
4) Visualize a happy place where you feel completely relaxed. Make sure that you not only see the place but you also FEEL it. The sound of cicadas chirping, the temperature of the warm sun on your skin and the smell of the grass (for example).
5) Develop a mantra that you repeat to yourself. Either out loud or in your head. Say “deep, deep sleep“, or “I now welcome sleep into my mind and body” or make up your own mantra. If you are feeling exotic “har har mukunde” is a Kundalini yoga mantra believed to bring good sleep. Either way, be patient and repeat until you fall asleep.
8. Spice things up in the bedroom
This is not about your sex life. Pun intended.
Your bedroom should be like a cozy, sacred temple where you have the freedom to be yourself. A place YOU design, free of judgment. Only for you and whoever you allow into that sacred space.
Our dear William Morris would agree that the same goes for your bedroom. Go through the items in your bedroom and consider which may not benefit you. Get rid of your ticking clock on the wall and replace it with an alarm clock (you don’t have to set an alarm on your phone).
Decorate your bedroom with items that make you feel at peace. Candles, incense, lights, plants and tapestry are just a few things that create a cozy sleeping environment.
Studies have also shown that colder temperatures increase your body’s melatonin production and thereby help you sleep better. The ideal sleeping temperature is 65 degrees Fahrenheit, so you might want to turn down the AC a few notches.
9. Try binaural beats for good sleep
Listening to music before sleep has proven to be very effective. Unfortunately, it’s not all types of music that get the job done. Even though you can’t get enough of Adele’s new single or Drake’s raspy voice, you may want to think out of the box here.
Studies have shown that unrhythmical sounds with theta or delta brain waves are best for deep sleep. For this binaural beats with the frequency 0.5 to 8 Hz. are PERFECT . Don’t worry too much about what this means, but give it a shot and feel the tranquil tones ground you.
Guides for Growth recommend this video for falling asleep:
10. Practice body awareness and stretch
Everyone’s bodies are unique, but what we do have in common, is the tension or pain that most of us feel. Even though the pain is uncomfortable, it’s important that we don’t ignore it or run away from it. Physical pain is a message from your body saying that a body part needs attention. A call for some love. So pay attention.
Working WITH and NOT AGAINST the pain is one of the best things you can do for yourself before sleep. Your body and mind are one. They go hand in hand. So, if something relaxes your body, (you guessed it) it also relaxes your mind.
Find a comfortable spot on the floor, and ask yourself where your body needs attention. Take some deep breaths and let your body find the positions it desires. Don’t look up a stretching routine online but experiment, and take the time to develop your own routine.
The pain you are feeling isn’t bad. It is not an enemy that you hide from or neglect. It is a part of you that needs care. Work with these areas, and feel the tension releasing, just a little, every time you breathe out.
You can also give yourself a massage. Apart from the areas in pain, your jaw and the vagus nerve on the sides of your neck hold a lot of stress, so give those areas some extra love.
11. Let go of the expectation: Free association
When you can’t fall asleep or wake up in the middle of the night, you get frustrated. You tell yourself to “just fall asleep already” and get annoyed. Understandably so. There’s nothing worse than hopelessly turning in bed, knowing you’ll feel the consequences tomorrow. We’ve all been there.
Practicing free association is one of the easiest ways to fall asleep. Free association is about acceptance and non-resistance and requires very little effort. Instead of fighting the feeling of restlessness, free association is about letting go. Letting go of the expectation of falling asleep. The harder you fight, the harder it will be to fall asleep. Simply let your mind take over and your thoughts drift away.
If worries and negativity pay you a visit, just think of a freight train. Picture the rusty boxcars slowly rolling past you. One by one. Each of the boxcars symbolize a negative thought. Feel yourself acknowledging their presence, but then detaching from them, as the train rolls past you into the horizon.
If you feel the pressure to fall asleep, you probably won’t. So just let go.
12. Visualize good sleep
The same way you used visualization for self-hypnotization, you can use different visualizations to fall asleep. This is especially helpful if you are a visual thinker and tend to think in visuals rather than words.
There isn’t anything right or wrong to visualize. It’s only about what helps YOU sleep. Close your eyes and FEEL yourself floating in the sky, gracefully bouncing from cloud to cloud. You get it.
You can also imagine your body slowly getting heavy, sinking into the mattress. Little by little. First, feel how your feet start to become relaxed and heavy. Almost immovable. As if a heavy blanket was weighing them down. Then, let the sensation spread to your ankles, your calves, shins, knees and so on all the way to the crown of your head.
If you are in search of more specific inspiration, Guides for Growth highly recommends Courtney E. Ackerman’s self-help book Midnight Meditations (this is not a paid advertisement). It contains 150 easy, guided visualizations and meditations for falling asleep.
Most importantly…
This is a brief reminder that all good things take time. The same goes for sleeping. It takes time and patience to build healthy, sustainable habits that could last you a lifetime. Find the techniques that work best for you and incorporate them into your evening routine.
Now, have you tried it all and come to the conclusion that nothing is helping you get good sleep? If yes, you may not be dealing with a sleeping problem. Not being able to sleep well is a sign of imbalance in some aspect of your life. Locate that aspect, and work with the root cause of the problem rather than dealing with the symptoms.
Feel free to leave a comment below, and let us know how this post helped you. We also encourage you to share this post with anyone who might need it.
With that being said, goodnight.
Guides for Growth