Your habits shape the entirety of your life. All of what you are today is based on the behavioral patterns you’ve developed. If you learn to control these patterns and align them with the person you want to be, THE IDEAL YOU , you will find what you seek in life. Simple, yes, but a lot easier said than done.
Your habits are shaped by every single minor decision you make. Think about the amount of micro-decisions you made just today. Did you choose to meditate? Have you spent quality time with a loved one? Have you given the old man that held the door for you a wide, warm smile? And on it goes…
Your life today is the sum of an ocean of past decisions. All seemingly minor decisions accumulate to create the man or woman you see when you look in the mirror. A study showed that an adult makes about 35,000 DECISIONS in a single day. Now, imagine how radically you could change your life for the better if you eliminate the BAD ones — or, realistically speaking, at least some of them.
In order to do that, you must first be aware of your bad habits. There are THREE kinds of bad habits:
1. The bad habits you’re aware of.
2. The bad habits you’re unaware of.
3. The bad habits you think are good habits.
Today, we want to do what we do best which is provide you with alternative teachings that you probably hadn’t thought of in; in this case, you’ll learn how to gain complete awareness (and thereby power) over your bad habits. The only person that can TRULY do that is YOU , because nobody knows you better than yourself. Once you’ve discovered your bad habits (even the ones you’re currently unaware of) you’ll have a clear vision of what your life could look like with some simple changes. We’ll start with…
The Bad Habits You’re Aware of
We all have bad habits that our conscious mind is aware of. These are the habits you think of when you ask yourself: “What are my bad habits?”
Some bad habits, we’re okay with even though we know they are bad. We’ve accepted them. Think about smokers. Most smokers are well aware that cigarettes cause cancer, but they choose to do it anyways. Why? Because, a long time ago, they made the “minor” decision that “one more isn’t going to kill me”, and in the moment, they are right. But they fail to see the big picture. They fail to see how that extra cigarette represents the creation of bad habits.
Of course, this applies to EVERYTHING in life (not just smoking) and can be a slippery slope that. In the beginning, you feel guilty, but you do it anyways because it feels good. Then, sooner or later, the guilt disappears because you’ve now internalized the behavior. You no longer question it, no matter how self-destructive it may be, and you’ve created a bad habit.
This group of bad habits are fairly easy to change because you already know what they are. Maybe you spend a lot of time on your phone, or maybe you always get out of the house too late. These are small habits that YOU control, small habits that you MUST take responsibility for if you want to live a better life.
EXERCISE 1
Anything you feed will grow. Put your energy into making helpful “minor” decisions instead of mindlessly giving in to the bad habits of your past. Make a list of ALL your bad habits you can think of. Write them down. Then, go over them one by one and ask if this habit is in alignment with the person you want to be. Are you okay with this bad habit, and if so, are you okay with it for the right reason? QUESTION YOUR OWN MOTIVES.
The Bad Habits You’re Unaware of
The bad habits you’re unaware of are slightly harder to deal with, because they are hidden for a reason. Either, you’re ignoring the bad habit, pretending like it doesn’t exist, or you’re simply inattentive and don’t notice its presence.
If you’re ignoring a bad habit, you’re probably rationalizing your way out of it. You might hear an inner voice saying: “A few beers a night is okay because it helps me sleep” when, in reality, there’s plenty of better alternative ways to deal with sleeping problems. Rationalization is a defense mechanism protecting your ego but harms THE REAL YOU every time you give in. So, when needed, recall these words of wisdom:
“Human beings aren’t rational animals; we’re rationalizing animals who want to appear reasonable to ourselves”
Elliot Aronson, Psychologist
Other bad habits stem from inattention. We don’t notice these habits, because we’ve been doing them our entire lives. We’ve never even questioned them. Growing up, we go through a conditioning process that shapes us to match family and social values. This is a process we learn SUBCONSCIOUSLY from the moment we’re born; just like how children automatically acquire the spoken language of their family, they also acquire the behavioral patterns of their family. They acquire their habits — for better or for worse…
You can probably think of many examples where children inherit the bad habits of their parents. Temper problems, aggression issues, heavy drinking, excessive gambling, and on it goes. We don’t question it because “that’s just the way it has always been”. The behavior is engrained so deeply in our roots. As parents, it’s our duty to pass on AS MUCH GOOD AS POSSIBLE which we often fail to do; not because we don’t love our children, but because we’re UNAWARE of what we’re demonstrating.
So, take a good, long look in the mirror and be BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself. No filter. Although you may uncover a darker side that, through no fault of your own, was instilled in you, this is the greatest gift you can give yourself. What you’re doing is what we call “dealing”, meaning you’re taking care of your inner battles. You’re growing.
EXERCISE 2
There are two kinds of people in this world: People who deal and people who don’t. Right now, in this moment, decide which kind you want to be. Are you ready to make the efforts it takes to truly change your life or would you rather live in comfortable ignorance? Are you ready to WAKE UP or would you rather continue sleep-walking? Choose wisely.
The Bad Habits that You Think Are Good Habits
The bad habits that we think are good habits can be extremely tricky because they’re rooted in a general misunderstanding of good and bad. Healthy and unhealthy. Some people take good the extreme which actually makes it bad. Exercising is great — TOO MUCH exercise is harmful. Working to build a career and making money is smart — TOO MUCH work is consuming and stressful. Relaxing is healthy — TOO MUCH relaxation makes you lazy. There has to be a balance. The trick is to take everything in moderation.
When good habits become obsessions, they’re no longer good habits. They are COMPULSIONS — actions we feel like we HAVE to do. If you feel guilty for not doing an action, then that’s a bad habit, because you have lost your free will, and it’s fear-based.
If a habit is fear-based, it can’t be truly good. If you exercise out of fear of looking bad, the intention isn’t good, and therefore it’s a bad habit. If you read hundreds of pages everyday for an education you’re taking out of fear of not being successful, the intention is impure — also a bad habit.
EVERYTHING we do, stem from love or fear; all our decisions are either love or fear-based. Not both, and nothing else. Just LOVE OR FEAR, that’s it. These are the two Universal energies that fight a constant battle in our subconscious. Fortunately, YOU have a say in who wins the battles. Here’s how…
EXERCISE 3
Fear will always be a part of you — an important part because fear is a great teacher. Again, fear is fine, but TOO MUCH fear is inhibiting. Paralyzing. If we give fear too much power, it interferes with our daily lives, which is why we must learn to deal. For one day, tell yourself that before you make any decisions, ask yourself: Is this decision love or fear-based? If it is fear-based, BREAK that habit. Be brave enough to go against the initial, fearful voice in your head. At the end of the day, evaluate with yourself how your behavior changed. That’s growth.
Most importantly…
Too many people live in fear without ever realizing it. We become doctors, psychiatrists, and lawyers etc. to ensure a safe, wealthy future and invest YEARS of our precious lives into something we chose out of fear and then wonder: I have all these things — everything I have worked for, so why am I still not happy? What’s missing?
We’re telling you NOW : Make life decisions with your heart and not with your wallet. You’re wasting your time doing something your heart isn’t in, so be true to your passions, and you’ll find what your heart desires.
This starts with being completely honest with yourself. Observe your behavior, your habits, your minor decisions. Do they match the person you want to be? If not, it’s time for change.
To change your bad habits, you must be aware of them. Guides for Growth invite you to use these three exercises as much as possible. They bring you clarity and awareness, and there’s SO much more to gain from them no matter where you are in life right now.
Lastly, remember that anything you feed will grow, so feed the parts of you that you want to grow. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.
Thank you for your time, and as always, feel free to share this information with anyone that could benefit from it.
Guides for Growth