This post will help you establish a GREAT and LONG-LASTING relationship with the one person you are stuck with for the rest of your life: Yourself. You will be given an “expression guide” that teaches you how to establish a relationship with your true self — a life tool that you can use for the rest of your life. Let’s begin.
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Human beings are highly sensitive creatures. That goes for ALL of us. No matter how tough or cynical we think we are. A painful event occurs, and our mind, body, and soul react to it. It’s action-reaction. However, there’s an understanding in society that not all natural reactions are welcomed. For instance, young boys are told to toughen up and to “be a man”, while girls are told not to cry that much because it makes them look weak. Told to suck it up. Unfortunately, this is based on a HUGE MISCONCEPTION that toughness and strength comes from disguising emotions of vulnerability.
Most of us do all in our power to avoid painful emotions. In fact, that’s how we are taught to deal with pain. Ignore it. Hide it from the world and toughen up. Not a great outlook for coping in life, would you agree?
You can deny or alter your true emotions all you want, but they have come to stay; whether you like them or not. So, when you disguise your true emotions, it just pushes you one step further away from your true self. Ultimately, if you are not in alignment with your true self, you are following the wrong path; a path created by the illusions of society.
Suppress or express?
Pain is a natural part of life. It is inevitable. However, pain that you hold on to becomes suffering. Suffering is a choice because you always have the option to work through your pain (or not). EVERY painful event in your life causes a reaction. A reaction to which you can respond in one of two ways: You either SUPPRESS it or EXPRESS it.
You can choose to accept the pain and work with it, or you can disregard and hide it in your subconscious. A place that can be full of darkness. A place where you store the emotions that are too painful for your conscious mind to deal with. Smart right? NO. Sooner or later, your storage unit will be full. Like a cup that overflows, suppressed emotions spill into the dimensions of your life and bring you nothing but destruction and more suffering.
Sadly, millions of people live their entire lives in this explosive state of uncontrolled emotion without ever knowing it. They never see past their anger. Their souls scream for liberation as they become heavier and heavier. They become mean, depressed, and destructive. To others and to themselves. They become hard. Bitter and cold. Why? Because they were never taught how to understand pain, but YOU are being taught NOW :
What you damn, damns you back. What you put in darkness, pulls you closer to darkness.
STOP READING , just for a second, and think about the truth in that statement. Nobody is born mean or evil, so why do people act that way? It’s because of their emotional baggage that they’ve worked hard to avoid; the very reason that hurt people hurt people.
Your suppressed emotions never die until you do. You take them with you to the grave. All life is precious, and masking your true emotions is a waste of life. You are only here for so long, so why waste energy trying to feed into an illusion? The opposite of suppression is expression which is the key to overcoming your suffering. You must learn to express your pain.
Discard all cultural norms of how you are expected to react; as a man, woman, adult, and as a member of society. Instead, ask yourself: How should I react as a human being? Being human isn’t about fitting in and being appropriate or pretty, and it certainly isn’t about being “tough” (whatever that means).
Be brave enough to take a good look in the mirror and breathe INTO the pain you so firmly are holding onto. It hurts, but that is okay. That is good. It’s a part of the human experience. Don’t run away from the pain or deny its existence. Be aware, be vulnerable, be yourself.
The power of tears
Crying is the body’s natural outlet for pain. It’s a PHYSIOLOGICAL mechanism for expressing PSYCHOLOGICAL trauma. Mind and body go hand in hand. They are one. That is SO smart and yet SO simple. Whoever designed the human really had it all thought through.
On the other hand, if your tears are an outlet for pain, it also means that if you block that outlet, your body has no choice but to store the pain somewhere else. To internalize it. Suppress it. And that’s why re-learning to express pain is so crucial to your long-term happiness. In other words, expression is freedom.
Crying can make you feel uncomfortable. If so, you are experiencing society’s firm grip around your neck. Only YOU can loosen that grip by quitting trying to fit into a box. The box is a cage; a cage full of expectations and judgement.
Break free of the cage by accepting that crying is neither wrong or embarrassing. It is expression. Coping. You are strong enough to go against the norm and break out of the cage. Strong enough to be yourself. THAT is true toughness.
Expression guide: Meet your true self
Step 1: Emotional awareness.
The best way to do this is through self-observation. Observe your emotional responses like a fly on the wall. With no expectations or subjective bias, notice what your mind and body is reporting. By the end of each day, think about what you observed. What made you smile, what triggered you, and what brought you tranquility? It’s crucial that you are BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself — no more self-deception.
Step 2: Emotional acceptance.
Accept ALL of your emotions completely free of judgment. You don’t have to like your emotions, but what’s important is that you accept their presence. Don’t disassociate from the unpleasant feelings but accept that they are also a part of you. In fact, your negative emotions are JUST as important to your mental well-being as your positive emotions. Allow the uncomfortable. When you realize there are no wrong emotions, you will start to see who “you” are.
Step 3: Emotional toughness.
On the other side of emotional acceptance lies liberation. Liberating the whole “you” brings awareness and freedom. But still, the road there can be SCARY , because it forces you to face your suppressed emotions. The aftermath of suppressed emotions is messy, and it requires true emotional toughness to move past it. To heal. And this is where most people back down. Where they say: “I would rather be comfortable in my suffering than be uncomfortable in growth.” They are not TOUGH . They are not RESILIENT . You must see past that and express your suppressed emotions regardless.
Step 4: Emotional expression.
As you already know, crying is the human body’s natural way of dealing with pain. So let your body do its thing. Cry like a baby and let go of the guilt, indignation, sadness, pride, and anger you may hold. With no filter. BUT , expression is more than crying and can also be taken in a literal sense. Express what your journey to someone close to you. Express it to yourself via creative outlets like writing, painting, playing music, dancing, exercising etc. Show your true emotions to the Universe, and you will establish a great, long-lasting relationship with your true self.
Reminder: Yes, this is a step-by-step guide, but that doesn’t mean you should bounce from one step to another in a day. In fact, time is not of the essence, because the time it takes to grow is different from person to person. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge that the best things in life takes time.
A Word from Guides for Growth
We have a problem. The problem is avoidance of our own emotions that we view as enemies. Conditioned avoidance. It’s the only way we know, because it’s how we are raised and what society demands. When you are depressed, you go to the doctor who sends you to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist gives you anti-depressants and says that “the problem is a chemical imbalance”. In most cases, anti-depressants won’t solve the root of your problem. They may relieve your pain temporarily, but medication doesn’t fix the initial problem.
You can only heal the initial problem by facing your pain. We all experience it, but how we deal with it is a choice. YOUR choice. Avoidance or acceptance? Suffering or empowerment? Take your pick. Today, we encourage you to express your emotions rather than sweeping them under the carpet which will only get dirtier. THAT’S true toughness. THAT’S growth.
We, at Guides for Growth, sincerely hope that this post was of help to you or your loved ones. If you would like to support our mission, please leave a comment below and tell us how this guide helped you. We also wish that you share this information with anyone who needs it.
Thank you for your time.
Guides for Growth